I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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