Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
