The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
