So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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