This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
