I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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