MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
