Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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