i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize