Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
