My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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