I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
