If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
