It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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