She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
