I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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