dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize