think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
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I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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