I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
ok first of all what the fuck
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
