I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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