My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
