we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
