my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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