do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
