i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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