so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
