That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
