On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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