I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
