Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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