The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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