I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.