Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?