We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...