I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize