I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
