do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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