I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize