There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
