Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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