So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
