Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
