I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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