I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
