It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
