yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
