how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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