so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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