how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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