so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
