i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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