Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
