it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
