Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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