I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
