just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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