She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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