i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
