Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
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Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
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i need to put some appletini on your dick
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize