i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
