Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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