She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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