i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
