If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
How external is "for external use only"?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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